Five Stupid Little Trinkets To Give Your Mom Instead Of Grandchildren
1. Card Pick up the last Mother’s Day card (conveniently located next to the “#1 Grandma” cards) and don’t even sign your name inside. She’s […]
Lists
“Counting To 10” And Other Woke Ideologies Sesame Street Is Using To Indoctrinate Your Kids
Well, it’s official: President Trump has signed an executive order cutting funding to PBS. And thank the canonically white God, because the hit kids’ show […]
4 Things I Refuse To Apologize For After Being Held Hostage By The Pirates Of The Caribbean Animatronics For 93 Days
At first, I was ashamed. I was mortified. For years and years I hid in the shadows. I felt… embarrassed. I was embarrassed by all […]
Mysogyny And For Other Words I Don’t Know How To Spell
Its finals weak. I have to right tree different essays butt oh no I’m bad at spelling! I’m not gonna use spellcheck because the machine’s […]
Top Five Books That Could’ve Been An Email
To Whom It May Concern, In today’s world, clear and concise communication is more important than ever. Electronic messaging has revolutionized almost every aspect of […]
Best Ways To Stay Cool And Mysterious After Tripping Over An Electric Scooter
WESTWOOD — We’ve all been there, strutting down the sidewalk, listening to Radiohead and scowling occasionally so that people know you’ve got a dark secret, […]
Who? What? Where? And 4 Other Questions To Ask
We get it. You’re a curious little fella. There’s a lot of stuff you want to know, but you just don’t know what to ask […]
The Sexiest, I Mean The Smartest Youth Climate Activists
The global movement to adopt greener solutions has been led by sexy children who have fought tooth and nail to prot–I mean, intelligent. The push […]
Seven Neat Ways To Actually MAKE Money This Holiday Season
Yes, it’s that time of year again! A time of joy and cheer, a time of love and family, and above all, a time of […]