
Starship Vows To Be More Assertive This Year
WESTWOOD — Starship Number 38, known around the charging stations as Bernard, resolves to be more assertive as he rolls through the UCLA campus in […]
WESTWOOD — Starship Number 38, known around the charging stations as Bernard, resolves to be more assertive as he rolls through the UCLA campus in […]
MUSHROOM KINGDOM— Area dude Brad McIntyre bored gamers everywhere Tuesday when he chose Mario as his racing character in the hit Nintendo game MarioKart. “I […]
WESTWOOD — Third-year Computer Science major Nerdiea Lert was delighted this Thursday to find a complementary virus attached to her free Calculus I textbook that […]
WESTWOOD — Herds of STEM students, also known by their Latin name nerdicus uclai, were found in direct sunlight today after a fire in Boelter […]
SYDNEY — The American rock band Weezer has just announced their upcoming tour, titled “Say It Ain’t Saur: Australiaur 2023.” “We’ve translated all of our […]
WESTWOOD — Second-year economics major Joshua Wadams has been hailed as a local hero following his efforts to simultaneously look after the personal belongings of […]
SANTA BARBARA — Prince Harry held a press conference outside of his estate this morning to clarify his remarks in his new memoir, “Spare.” “I […]
WESTWOOD — Bearing resemblance to a spoon-fed toddler, local wuss Jimmy Wetblanket was spotted using an umbrella on campus following thunderstorm warnings. “I don’t understand […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.— The office of Senator Martha Lovelace (R-AR) is scrambling to spin an unfortunate gaffe made in the joint committee on taxation hearings earlier […]
WESTWOOD — After long deliberation, first-year Dykstra resident Elizabeth Lowes has decided to follow her heart and pursue a long-distance relationship with Hedrick Summit resident […]
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