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NICE FARM IN NORCAL — The chancellor’s office announced yesterday that at the end of the 2023-24 school year, chief executive Gene Block will be […]
Greetings, lesser one. It is I, your neighbor in POLSCI 30, here to inform you of my recent endeavors in the political sphere. Last night, […]
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A WINDOWLESS BEDROOM — Area student Molly Lee was seen this morning treating themself to a days-long stint of rotting in bed. Due to their recent […]
HOLLYWOOD — The fires of hell could not compare to the fury of area woman Maria Cooper when she discovered her husband’s infidelity. “That ugly, […]
WESTWOOD — The national egg shortage has left droves of Bruins without a key ingredient not only of their breakfast but of their self care. “We […]
Have you heard about how hot girls have IBS? How all the hottest girls are on a low FODMAP diet and can’t look at a […]
WESTWOOD — In a bold move, UCLA officials have announced plans to fire all teaching assistants and replace them with Mr. Pudding. “We are always […]
From bell-bottoms to tube tops, the next generation is scouring the history books for new and exciting ways to kick it old-school. But fashion doesn’t […]
Like many UCLA students, I had hoped to experience my first romance at this fine institution, but as an oft-ignored fellow, that moment seemed like […]
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