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dorms

Roommates Nationwide Participate in “Never Leave Your Fucking Bed” Challenge

April 14, 2025 Georgia McNeill 0

WESTWOOD — According to the National Roommate Association, a dangerous new craze is sweeping the nation: the “Never Leave Your Fucking Bed” challenge. “HEYYYYYYY whatsgoinonguysitsyaboy […]

Dorm Resident Hospitalized After Automatic Toilet Flushes Prematurely

March 9, 2025 Zach Fischer 0

WESTWOOD — The sixth-floor communal bathroom of Sproul Cove was struck by tragedy Friday evening after a horrific flush-sensor malfunction in the second stall hospitalized […]

Alabamian Initiates Dorm Floorcest Movement In The Name Of Culture

May 29, 2024 Anonymous 0

WESTWOOD — First-year Alabamian and psychology major Cous N. Louver has sparked controversy for introducing a new trend among his peers: floorcest. “My entangled family […]

Silhouette of a person singing in the shower with a microphone.

Record Label Signs Hedrick Hall Shower Singer

November 17, 2023 Ella Cash 0

LA LA LAND — After a scramble for one of the most sought-after, up-and-coming artists, We The Best Music Group has secured a lucrative deal […]

“Let’s Work On That, Friend!” Roommate Can’t Shake Her Camp Counselor Energy

October 18, 2023 Meghan Mason 0

WESTWOOD — Second-year Education and Social Transformation major Jessica Thomas, better known as Lead Counselor Super Sparkles, came back to campus with a distinct new […]

Ask The Enabler: “Best Places To Hide A Vibrator In A Classic Triple?”

February 2, 2023 Melissa Beining 0

If a roommate questions why your portable charger is covered in white marks and has an odor, the safest bet is to blame it on […]

Nerds Take Over Covel Piano

January 4, 2023 Tyler Neufeld 0

COVEL COMMONS— The hearts, souls, and especially ears of residents of The Hill are being terrorized by the sounds emanating from the Covel Piano. “I […]

Haunted House On The Hill Just Classic Triple Inhabited By Three Men

October 20, 2022 Anya Bergstrom 0

WESTWOOD— In a whirlwind of festivity, the UCLA On-Campus Housing Council has decided to celebrate the spooky holiday season with their very own haunted house […]

UCLA Frat Issues Notes App Apology for Alleged Serial Sexual Assault

May 31, 2022 Azalea Morris 0

WESTWOOD — On Monday, a UCLA Fraternity was cornered into finally addressing their countless sexual assault allegations. Their method of addressing this serious issue was […]

Student Has A Blast At Virtual Study Abroad

May 24, 2022 Aidan Brooks 0

WESTWOOD — Due to the pandemic, second-year linguistics student Dan Gene-Attell willingly paid $20,000 to take online classes from Barcelona, Spain while remaining in his […]

Posts pagination

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  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    WESTWOOD — After the Trump administration justified cutting research funding to UCLA by citing concerns of antisemitism, Jews and Gentiles alike were shocked when the […]

  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
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