WESTWOOD — The sixth-floor communal bathroom of Sproul Cove was struck by tragedy Friday evening after a horrific flush-sensor malfunction in the second stall hospitalized a resident. “I had just finished a full season of Breaking Bad on 1.5x speed and was about to scroll some Youtube Shorts, when all of a sudden I heard the loudest sound imaginable and felt the wet hand of Satan pulling me into the abyss.” said second-year Annal Fischer while recovering from his rectum rectification surgery at Ronald Reagan Medical Center. “It wasn’t until after a guy in the shower stopped playing Drake at max volume that people heard my screams and called 911.” In response, the Office of Residential Life has replaced the motion detectors with ChatGPT-powered sensors that ask a little too nicely before flushing.