Good News! Ashe Appointment Available December 2022
WESTWOOD — On her fifth call to the Ashe Center, second-year Natalie Johnson was able to secure a primary care appointment for December 2022. “I’m […]
college
Heroes: Feminist Frat Bros Annoyed But Respectful Of Your Decision Not To Hook Up With Them Right Now
FRAT ROW — Multiple eyewitness accounts came in last Thursday outside of Chi Alpha Theta regarding the romantic events of the thriving party inside. “Yeah, […]
Tasing Yourself In The Hamstring, And Other Bad Study Habits To Get Rid Of Before Finals
Finals are coming up, and there are so many terrible ways to study. To help you become the best version of yourself for finals season, […]
Opinion: I Went Undercover To Expose Frat Culture And I’m Having The Time Of My Life
WESTWOOD — When I arrived on the first day of rush, I was a man with a mission. It was my first time ever encountering […]
Opinion: Your Sleeping Roommate Doesn’t Matter
You’ve woken up bright and early. 7:50 am on a Tuesday. You cast a glance at your smug roommate in their fortress of fluff. A […]
Professor Denied Tenure After Falling For Student’s Ligma Joke
WESTWOOD — Henry Bones, assistant professor within UCLA’s anthropology department, was denied tenure this weekend after a student got him so good with a “ligma” […]
Teen Makes Case For Adderall Prescription By Reciting Memorized Monologue
WESTWOOD — Early Thursday afternoon, 17 year-old Connor Adams recited a perfectly memorized monologue to his psychiatrist in hopes of obtaining an Adderall prescription. “Hi, […]
UCLA Doubles Down On “Zero Waste 2020”
WESTWOOD — On Tuesday, Chancellor Gene Block reaffirmed in an address to the university that UCLA will be waste-free by 2020. “Although we are well […]
Math Major Aspires to 69
WESTWOOD — Second-year applied math student Jake Willow has a dream: to someday 69. “I’ve spent a lot of time in college learning about math, […]
Instagram Blacks Out After Roebling Block Party
WESTWOOD — Millions were inconvenienced when Instagram drank excessively at the Roebling Block Party and was unable to come into work the following Monday. “Every […]