Finals are coming up, and there are so many terrible ways to study. To help you become the best version of yourself for finals season, the Westwood Enabler has compiled a list of study habits that you should definitely avoid.
1. Tasing Yourself In The Hamstring
Every finals week screams can be heard echoing throughout Westwood in the middle of the night as students tase themselves in a desperate attempt to attain a studying grindset. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but tasing yourself in the hamstring does not help you study. I am sick and tired of seeing students with baked hammies have mental breakdowns after they fail their O-chem final. Please stop.
2. Hiring a bunch of airplanes to write your study guide in the sky
This may seem like a good idea at first, but there are actually a lot of problems with this study plan. In fact, there are so many problems that I had to write an entirely different article to list them out:
5 Reasons Why Hiring A Bunch of Airplanes To Write Your Study Guide In The Sky Is Not A Good Study Plan For Finals
1. You’re not the only one that can look at the sky
As helpful as having your study guide written all over the sky may be for you personally, it is also very helpful for everyone else taking the exam. You are sure to ruin any chance of having a generous grading curve if you attempt this little stunt.
2. Airplanes are expensive
Buy a pencil instead. Those things are way more useful for studying.
3. Most finals take place inside, and the sky is outside
Odds are that your final exam is going to be inside a classroom of some sort, and you cannot see the sky from inside a classroom.
4. Think about your neck
Even if you do manage to get a seat with a perfect view of the sky, you are going to have to crane your neck upwards to look at the sky.
5. This would technically be cheating
We at the Westwood Enabler do not endorse cheating or any form of academic dishonesty. Especially when it’s so obvious.
3. Eating the gum stuck to the bottom of desks
This one may surprise you. While this may appear to be a tried and true studying hack, you have to remember that correlation does not always equate to causation. No doubt the smartest people in the world eat gum they find on the bottom of desks and tables, but that’s not WHY we’re smart.
4. Taking subtracterall after the exam
It has been posited that because taking adderall before an exam may improve one’s performance, that it should follow naturally that taking subtracterall after an exam should have a similar effect. While logically sound, this proposal falls short from reality when one considers the fact that subtracterall is not a real thing. Even if it were real, taking something after an exam is not going to help you do better on that exam. That’s not how time works.
5. I am not kidding about the tasing
I cannot emphasize enough that tasing your hamstrings will not help you with studying. Please spread the word. This is so stupid; I don’t know why people keep doing it. There is absolutely no reason why it would work… it does feel kind of nice though.