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2021

Spotify Wrapped 2022 Just Spotify Wrapped 2021 In Slightly Different Order

December 1, 2022 Robi Chatterjee 0

WESTWOOD — As the year comes to an end, Spotify has once again given each user a personalized playlist consisting of their most listened songs […]

Congress Declares Nuclear War On Climate Change

December 20, 2021 Brandon Wang 0

WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented bipartisan move, both the Senate and the House of Representatives unanimously voted Wednesday in favor of declaring nuclear war against […]

Goldman Sachs Recruiters Use Picture Of Female Employee Twice On Diversity Slide

November 15, 2021 Stella He 0

NEW YORK — This past week, recruiters at a Goldman Sachs information session were caught using the same image of a woman twice on a […]

Psychology Professor Denies Mental Health Related Extension

October 18, 2021 Tatiana Davidson 0

WESTWOOD — On Tuesday evening, UCLA Professor of Psychology Dr. Janice Smith denied her student’s request for a mental health related extension on her final […]

Second-Year Reverses “Blue Lives Matter” Stance After Receiving Minor In Possession Citation

October 14, 2021 Tatiana Davidson 0

WESTWOOD — Second-year business economics student Cassie Duvall recently reversed her support for the Blue Lives Matter movement after receiving a citation on Thursday evening […]

UCLA Doubles Down On “Zero Waste 2020”

October 8, 2021 Lily Kiamanesh 0

WESTWOOD — On Tuesday, Chancellor Gene Block reaffirmed in an address to the university that UCLA will be waste-free by 2020. “Although we are well […]

Instagram Blacks Out After Roebling Block Party

October 5, 2021 Kylie Yamada 0

WESTWOOD — Millions were inconvenienced when Instagram drank excessively at the Roebling Block Party and was unable to come into work the following Monday. “Every […]

Sorry Professor! My Dog Ate My Daily Symptom Survey

September 28, 2021 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — Oops! Fourth-year Leila Bandowitz informed her professor this morning she does not have her daily symptom survey due to her dog’s appetite for […]

  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    WESTWOOD — After the Trump administration justified cutting research funding to UCLA by citing concerns of antisemitism, Jews and Gentiles alike were shocked when the […]

  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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