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Throwing Up In Class And Four Other Trends That Have Majorly Fallen Off

April 24, 2024 Adam Nadifi 0

Reminiscing on trends that used to be all the rage but haven’t gotten a lot of attention lately? The Westwood Enabler has you covered. These […]

Bel-Air Property Auction Gets Heated Over Having Best View Of College Town

April 23, 2024 Anya Bergstrom 0

BEL-AIR — In the process of brokering a deal worthy of its property value, a Bel-Air home auction recently got heated over having the best […]

UCLA Introduces 0P Plan Where You Watch Your Friends Eat

April 22, 2024 Jaden Weinstein 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA Housing has decided to launch a brand new meal plan for students living on campus, where purchasers can swipe into dining halls […]

UCLA Housing x ResLife Presents: Roachella

April 19, 2024 Dana Badii 0

WESTWOOD — With music festival season well underway, UCLA Housing is collaborating with ResLife for their own spin on Coachella: Roachella. “Ticket prices range from […]

Freshman Faux Pas? The First Guy You Ate With At De Neve Is A Sex Offender

April 18, 2024 Funny Marcus 0

WESTWOOD — As the 2023-24 school year approaches its end, freshman students are coming forward to share their horror stories about dining hall encounters with […]

De Neve Late Night Reopens With Mandatory Breathalyzer Test

April 17, 2024 Tyler Neufeld 0

WESTWOOD — Beloved dining hall De Neve is set to reopen its Late Night menu with more pizza, flatter soda, and a lot less fun […]

Second-Year Still Recovering From Epic Hometown Spring Break

April 16, 2024 Meghan Mason 0

WESTWOOD — Second-year Creative Writing major Sue Perr-Wilde is still in recovery from her epic spring break adventure where she re-explored her hometown grocery stores, […]

Meant To Be: The Cruel And Beautiful Strings Of Fate Have Caused Our Paths To Cross On This Four-Way Crosswalk

April 13, 2024 Maya Chatrathi 0

Hello again, stranger. It’s funny, isn’t it? How life works. Despite meeting mere moments ago, our bodies are now locked in an ancient ritual, performing […]

USC Alum Dead At 76

April 12, 2024 Georgia McNeill 0

Angry Men’s Rights Activist Creates Boy Scout Cookies

April 5, 2024 Tyler Neufeld 0

WESTWOOD — Men’s rights activist Brett Chadley has created “Boy Scout Cookies” after noticing that male children are marginalized in the cookie sales industry. “These […]

Posts pagination

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  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

  • Supreme Court Brings Back Three-Fifths Compromise

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blockbuster 5⅗–2⅗ decision, the Supreme Court has ruled Section 2 of the 14th Amendment unconstitutional, effectively allowing states to declare […]

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Georgia McNeill
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Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
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