UCLA Introduces 0P Plan Where You Watch Your Friends Eat

WESTWOOD — UCLA Housing has decided to launch a brand new meal plan for students living on campus, where purchasers can swipe into dining halls but only to watch their friends eat. “I think this will do a lot for inclusion at our school, as dirty poor people always complain about lack of access to dining halls. This plan should solve this issue permanently,” said Assistant Vice Chancellor Peter Angelis, known for eating caviar with tiny gold flakes sprinkled on top. “Gen Z is notable for their love of Mukbangs, and now De Neve can host one every day of the week!” The plan will cost $1999.99 for the year, and financial aid will not apply.