Plane Crashes After Man Forgets To Enable Airplane Mode
NEW YORK — The Federal Aviation Administration released a press statement this morning, divulging that the Boeing 747 that crashed shortly after departing JFK International Airport […]
Dumb Opinion Definitely Not Worth Discussion Points
WESTWOOD — After careful study, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles have determined that expressing your dumb opinion is definitely not worth the discussion […]
So Cute! When This High Schooler Didn’t Have A Date To Prom, Her Best Friend’s Dad Offered to Spend the Night with Her in His Basement Instead!
CLEVELAND, OH — Prom can be a super sad, stressful time for high-schoolers who don’t have dates. But when senior Becca Martin found herself without a […]
Administration In Turmoil: Rex Tillerson Was The Last Staffer Who Knew The White House Wi-Fi Password
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past fourteen months, you know that the Trump White House has been an absolute mess. It […]
Powell Bathrooms To Require Multifactor Authentication
WESTWOOD — In a press release late Thursday night, UCLA officials announced that mandated multifactor authentication would extend to the use of Powell Library bathrooms. […]
Ambitious Political Science Major Adds Minor In Global Studies
WESTWOOD — Seeking to broaden his horizons and diversify his course curriculum, first-year political science major Adam Harper announced in an impassioned Facebook post this […]
Slow-Moving Spider Can No Longer Be Ignored
LOS ANGELES — Area woman Susan Williams realized that she could no longer ignore the slow-moving arachnid on her bedroom wall on Tuesday afternoon. “Usually, […]
Area Woman Pleased With Number of Likes on Post About Social Media Cleanse
LOS ANGELES — Amateur photographer Amber Allman was pleasantly surprised at the number of likes she received on her latest Instagram post declaring her indefinite […]