History Department Announces New Concentration In “Future”
WESTWOOD – After running out of past to study, the history department has announced that students can now declare a concentration in “future.” “We are […]
I Lived It! Communal Bathroom Diarrhea So Bad I Had to Notes App Apologize
Tell me why I can stomach Taco Bell and Chipotle like a champ, but as soon as I try to get my veggies in at […]
School Spirit? Student Refuses To Wear Trojan Condoms
WESTWOOD – In a bold display of Bruin spirit, first-year Gender Studies major Chad Ryan announced on his Instagram yesterday his refusal to wear Trojan […]
Heartbreaking: Most Eager Lecture Participant Also Dumbest
WESTWOOD — LinkedIn use is on the rise, with seniors desperate to secure connections before graduating, but with a sparse job market, many students are […]
League Of Legends Classified As Schedule I Drug
Washington D.C. – Earlier today, the Drug Enforcement Administration issued a statement regarding the League of Legends epidemic. “Countless studies have shown secondhand effects of […]
Early Hominids Clustered Around John Wooden Monolith Miraculously Discover Tool Usage, Basketball
DAWN OF MAN – Following reports that a mysterious large black monolith has encased the John Wooden statue on Bruinwalk, a local group of early […]
