WESTWOOD – In a bold display of Bruin spirit, first-year Gender Studies major Chad Ryan announced on his Instagram yesterday his refusal to wear Trojan condoms. “I don’t just bleed blue and gold; I jizz it, too,” said Ryan, who finishes in 8 claps. “Hey, once they make a condom not associated with that school downtown whose name I won’t even mention, I’ll wrap it before I tap it. But for now, my John Wooden’s going in raw, just like Joe Bruin intended.” At press time, Ryan was diagnosed with chlamydia.
