WESTWOOD–Astounding an abundance of amazed Anglos, a recent rigorous report related that alliteration is almost always astonishingly annoying and aggravating. “It’s immensely irritating,” said Mathematics […]
WESTWOOD—After lingering in the hallway for a substantial portion of the morning, your hallmate, Sociology major Steven Carlinsky, expressed his desire for you to check […]
WESTWOOD—UCLA Community Service Officer David Connolly reported that he was feeling quite a rush after he and his team stormed the forests behind Hitch suites […]
LOS ANGELES—Even after two months of being next door neighbors, local apartment tenants Paul Bryson and Ariel Higgins have only communicated via eye contact through […]
Missing home lately? Just can’t wait for Thanksgiving? Then here’s how to make your dorm room feel a little more like home! Shroud your body […]
Do I include a smiley face? Is a winking face inappropriate? Do I want to be inappropriate? How many exclamation points are too many exclamation […]
SAN DIEGO, CA—Recent studies compiled by various mateys and seadogs have unanimously concluded that, despite the proposals made by hapless landlubbers, the sea is a […]
WESTWOOD—Student Ariel Johnson reported feeling increasingly alarmed this week by the number of un-ironic Halloween decorations that her roommates have put up in their room. […]
WESTWOOD– Sources revealed that first-year Russell Price was successful in milking his Common App essay one last time for his final club application of the […]
RICHMOND, VA—After scouring the Richmond venue for human secretions with a homemade vacuum attached to a large mason jar worn on his back, Clement Augustine […]
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