Gold In Them-Thar Hills Actually Iron Sulfide
BODIE, CA–The good dwellin’-folk of Bodie, CA, durn had a mighty hell of a shock this week when the fancy learnin’ men in town done […]
POINT: Police Brutality Is A Systemic Issue That Must Be Addressed / COUNTERPOINT: Have You Seen That Video Of The Cop Giving People Ice Cream Cones?
Point Police Brutality Is A Systemic Issue That Must Be Addressed By: Matt Styles Police Brutality Is A Systemic Issue That Must Be Addressed. Half […]
Report: Geology Professor Loves A Good Rock
WESTWOOD—Geology professor Dan Boggs remarked in his introductory geology lecture this past Friday that he loves a good rock, according to students in his class. […]
Trump Announces Plan To Create Safe Spaces For Bigots
NEW YORK, N.Y.—Citing the the cast of Hamilton and their address to Mike Pence last night, Donald Trump today announced his plan to create safe […]
UCLA To Students: If You Donate One Kidney, Donors Will Back 250,000 More
WESTWOOD—Chancellor Gene D. Block announced in a university press release today that if enough students donate one kidney to UCLA for the True Bruin Challenge, […]
Most Controversial Exam Questions
Ever received a controversial exam question that tiptoed the boundary of acceptable and “hell-no”? Our staff definitely has! Here’s a compilation of real exam questions […]
Racially Divided Town United By Shared Homophobia
BACKWATER, AL—Residents of Backwater, a small town in rural Alabama with deep racial divisions, have recently come together to celebrate their shared homophobia. “See, […]
Man Struggling With Unwieldy Water Hose Unintentionally Arouses Everyone Around Him
WESTWOOD—During a particularly heated bout with an unwieldy water hose in his front yard, area man Leo Simons unintentionally aroused everyone around him in an […]
Nation’s Forks Feeling Overworked
WASHINGTON D.C.—Citing the vast overuse of their bodies for eating various foods, the nation’s forks are declaring a national crisis. “Frankly speaking, we’re just too […]
Sadness And Loneliness Are Just Social Constructs, Says Man Lying On The Floor
SANTA MONICA, CA—Lying curled in a fetal position upon the floor of his kitchen, area man Andrew Pacheco repeatedly declared sadness […]