WESTWOOD — After a grueling investigation that involved bugging meeting rooms, undercover operations, and wiretapping, the Daily Bruin has made headline news announcing that they […]
WESTWOOD — Today, UCLA’s administration announced its generous offering of a permanent study abroad program for international students. “As this God-chosen nation’s #1 public university, […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. – This morning, The White House announced via executive order the official renaming of The Great Depression to “World Depression One.” “It’s important […]
LOS ANGELES — Disaster struck this morning as the LAPD discovered that their new sketch artist was only able to draw hyperrealistic eyes. “I started […]
Your boyfriend’s a bitch!!!!!!!!! In case it wasn’t clear, here’s the difference between your boyfriend and a Golden Retriever: Your boyfriend is not an innocent […]
WESTWOOD — After three years of listening to his roommate exclusively play “Wonderwall” by Oasis, one man has confirmed that the aspiring acoustic guitarist was […]
WESTWOOD — On Thursday, UCLA apartment building Gayley Heights went up in flames after a mischievous band of roommates assembled an unusually lengthy chain of […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — When reached for comment about his inclusion in the Houthi PC Small Group Signal chat, Vice President J.D. Vance admitted he was […]
SAN JOSE — After getting accepted to UCLA’s Class of 2029, one high schooler already had his mind set on skipping lectures as soon as […]
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