SAN JOSE — After getting accepted to UCLA’s Class of 2029, one high schooler already had his mind set on skipping lectures as soon as September rolled around. “After wasting away so much of my youth helping disadvantaged kids run a biotech startup for gas station pills that improve vital underwater basket weaving skills for economic development, the least I can do to continue my overachieving lifestyle is bed-rot in my future dorm room while glancing at the slides every three days,” said high school senior Kevin Nguyen while forwarding his acceptance letter to everyone in his DMs. “I’ll just be living the authentic college experience instead of being a stupid NERD like everyone else! I can always rewatch the recordings in between rounds of League.” At press time, Nguyen was captioning a photo of him in a UCLA hoodie with “next four ”.