WASHINGTON, D.C. – This morning, The White House announced via executive order the official renaming of The Great Depression to “World Depression One.” “It’s important right now to keep the American people informed, which is why we want them to know that things right now are exactly as bad as they were back when Herbert Hoover was in charge and indoor toilets were a new thing,” shared Trump, as he asked ChatGPT “what is tariff, why tariff bad, china dual citizenship wikihow.” “Besides, the first one wasn’t even that bad! What, people made cakes with water and got a little dusty? It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s all fine.” At press time, White House staffers were seen chugging hard liquor and thanking god that “at least Prohibition isn’t a thing this time.”