Student Hits Snooze On All 5 Aspirationally Early Alarms
WESTWOOD — This morning, after sleeping through all five of their alarms, third-year Neuroscience major Terry Sleepyhead finally got up at noon for their aspirational […]
Roommates
Fifth-Year Continuing To Major In “Fundecided”
WESTWOOD — Long-term student Brody Martin, currently enrolled in his fifteenth quarter, informed his counselor Monday that he is taking a lighter course load this […]
Psych Major Offended At Suggestion Of Therapy
WESTWOOD – Although therapy is growing in popularity, a stigma still exists, and third-year psychology major Nellie Robinson is no exception. “Can you believe my […]
Student Treats Self To A Few Days Of Rotting In Bed
A WINDOWLESS BEDROOM — Area student Molly Lee was seen this morning treating themself to a days-long stint of rotting in bed. Due to their recent […]
Opinion: How I Get So Much Volume In My Hair I Can’t Hear My Roommate Face-Timing Her Boyfriend
Step 1: I take a shower. This gives me an excuse to avoid hearing my roommate cycle through pet names for her five foot eight […]
Ask The Enabler: “Best Places To Hide A Vibrator In A Classic Triple?”
If a roommate questions why your portable charger is covered in white marks and has an odor, the safest bet is to blame it on […]
Housing Adds “Homoerotic Tension” Option to Male Roommate Contracts
WESTWOOD — Preparing for the renewal of roommate contracts for Winter Quarter, UCLA Housing has added a “Homoerotic Tension” clause, hoping to play matchmaker. “We […]
5 Tips For Setting Healthy Boundaries With The Ants In Your Kitchen
Fall is here, and you know what that means! Pumpkin spice, holiday breaks, and several hundred new roommates. That’s right, your apartment is crawling with […]