The Westwood Enabler
  • Home
  • On The Paper
  • News
    • Campus
    • National
    • International
  • Opinion
    • Point/Counterpoint
  • Listicle
  • A&E
    • Arts
    • Celebrities
    • Culture
    • Trend Watch
  • Sports
  • Graphics
    • News In Pictures
    • Infographics
  • About
    • Staff
    • Join
    • Contact
  • Store

Month: November 2018

SAE’s Christmas Lights Almost Impressive Enough to Make You Forget About Those Sexual Assault Allegations

November 27, 2018 Nathan Glovinsky 0

WESTWOOD – In a dazzling display of holiday cheer, UCLA’s chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) recently put up a Christmas decor ensemble that almost made […]

Punk Band Totally Fine With No One Showing Up to Their Show. No Really, They Are.

November 26, 2018 Griffin Stout 0

WESTWOOD – Following a local house show this weekend, punk rock band Anarchist Tendencies denied feeling heartbroken despite the fact that no one showed up […]

National Crisis Averted By New National Crisis

November 26, 2018 Max Flora 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Last week, the United States experienced a tragic event that altered the lives of many and was covered by every news outlet […]

J.K. Rowling Announces on Twitter that John Wooden is Gay

November 26, 2018 Alex Kukoff 0

WESTWOOD – Beloved fantasy author J.K. Rowling turned to Twitter this morning to announce that  deceased UCLA basketball coach John Wooden is gay. “I’m so […]

UCLA Student Not Photographer But Does Have iPhone With Portrait Mode

November 26, 2018 Matt Moldenhauer 0

WESTWOOD — Recent reports from the “UCLA Free & For Sale” Facebook page have indicated that third-year student Liz Samuels did not consider herself a photographer […]

Self-Proclaimed “Cool” Professor Overheats in Leather Jacket

November 24, 2018 Griffin Stout 0

WESTWOOD — Earlier this week, adjunct History professor Dennis Falsk fainted during an intense lecture on early Mesopotamian farming practices after refusing to take off […]

MISSING: Friend Who Said “We Should Hangout Sometime.”

November 24, 2018 Sam Mallari 0

WESTWOOD — Concerned acquaintances have filed a missing persons report for Allison Nguyen, who was last seen in passing in the dining halls after some […]

Study: Doodling on Pen and Paper Has Better Retention Than Doodling on Electronic Devices

November 23, 2018 Carl Hatch 0

WESTWOOD — A recent study has shown that those students who distract themselves in class by doodling on their electronic writing devices may be suffering […]

UCLA Breaks Ground on Ben Shapiro School of Owning the Libs

November 23, 2018 Max Kohn 0

WESTWOOD — Reflecting UCLA’s commitment to recognizing the achievements of its distinguished alumni as well as its desire to offer an education that encompasses a […]

Ghost Kinda Weirded Out by How Often Family Visits Grave

November 23, 2018 Mackenzi Elias 0

WESTWOOD — Days before his three year death anniversary, ghost of the late “Pawpaw” Brian Krane reported to be kinda weirded out by how often […]

Posts pagination

1 2 3 »
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research

    WESTWOOD — After the Trump administration justified cutting research funding to UCLA by citing concerns of antisemitism, Jews and Gentiles alike were shocked when the […]

  • Opinion: Suck It, Pre-Meds! Now We’re All Going To Be Unemployed

    It finally happened. Despite being so against equity and inclusion, Trump finally did something to level the playing field between you pre-meds and us humanities, […]

  • Roommate Unable To Clean Dorm Because Floor Is Lava

    WESTWOOOD – In an emergency press conference inside your dorm today, your roommate announced they are unable to clean because the floor is lava. “I […]

  • Woke Mother Performs First Successful “Straight Conversion Therapy”

    WEST HOLLYWOOD — On Tuesday, local woke mother Dorothy McBeal celebrated the results of months of grueling treatment as her first and only child finally […]

  • two skeletons kissing in front of a rainbow pride flag

    Skeletons In Closet Come Out

Featured Authors

mm
Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

ARCHIVES

RECOMMENDED

  • National Guard Officer Also Bummed Westwood Village Doesn’t Have Shit To Do

    June 9, 2025 0
  • Worst Couple You Know Breaks Up

    June 7, 2025 0
  • Alternative Club Throws “Groundbreaking” Event That Breaks No New Ground

    June 6, 2025 0
  • Good Morning UCLA! Julio Frenk Arrests Four Students Before Epic At Ackerman Even Opens

    June 5, 2025 0
  • A UCLA dorm with prison bars over the window. Someone's holding up a phone open on Instagram to a photo of Shibuya Crossing.

    UCLA Student Stares Longingly At Instagram Summer Dumps Like Prisoner Gazing At Free World

    June 3, 2025 0

Copyright © 2025 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes