LiAngelo Asks If “Steals” Can Be Added To Otherwise Poor Stat Sheet
HANGZHOU, CHINA — After being apprehended for stealing merchandise from a store in China, LiAngelo Ball was left wanting to know if these “steals” could […]
HANGZHOU, CHINA — After being apprehended for stealing merchandise from a store in China, LiAngelo Ball was left wanting to know if these “steals” could […]
LOS ANGELES — In what psychologists have described as “the greatest case of the Yips ever seen in sports,” every single player on the Los […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.— Acting Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) director Andrew McCabe announced today that the man known simply as Waldo, whose disappearance was brought to […]
WESTWOOD — The UCLA Office of Undergraduate Admissions and Department of IT Services announced in a joint release today that the percentage of students admitted […]
LOS ANGELES — In an incredible transformation, the discovery of the upload button on Soundcloud has transformed a talentless Caucasian teenage boy into a professional […]
CUPERTINO — This week Apple, in keeping with tradition of ceremonial pomp, held a massive event unveiling their plans to play non-stop pop music for […]
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — In an emotionally charged attempt to show his appreciation of vegetation for its nutritional benefits, local vegan Edgar Wilkner tightly embraced […]
LAS VEGAS, NV — After the deadliest mass shooting in American history occurred during a concert in Las Vegas, the NRA has reported that all […]
WASHINTON, DC — Donald Trump, current President of the United States, accidentally fired himself on Monday, 200 days into his term, sources say. “In the […]
BALTIMORE — A recent Johns Hopkins University study concluded that prenatal ultrasounds can detect fetuses’ chakras as early as ten weeks into pregnancy. “Our findings […]
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