Birthright Trip Also Subsidizes Guilt
JERUSALEM—In a press release, Birthright Israel has stated they will now subsidize the guilt liberal American participants feel for being…
BREAKING: We Have The Meats
FLAVORTOWN, USA—Sources, those sources being your mother #$&%@$@ tastebuds, man, report that fast food chain and purveyor of carnivorous atrocities…
Bruins For Israel Pretty Quiet This Week
WESTWOOD—UCLA students noted that the campus group Bruins For Israel has been pretty quiet this week following the killing of…
Study: Discarded USAC Flyers Make Up Majority of Great Pacific Garbage Patch
PACIFIC OCEAN—A study performed by the UCLA Department of Atmospheric and Oceanic Sciences found that the Great Pacific Garbage Patch…
Huge Upset: Avengers Infinity War Outperforms Amy Schumer Movie
HOLLYWOOD—Critics’ expectations were defied this week when Avengers: Infinity War brought in more money than Amy Schumer’s I Feel Pretty….
Local Kanye Apologist Having A Really Bad Week
WESTWOOD–Sources report local Kanye apologist Sam Bradley is having a really bad week. “I mean, I always knew Kanye was…
Administration In Turmoil: Rex Tillerson Was The Last Staffer Who Knew The White House Wi-Fi Password
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past fourteen months, you know that the Trump White House has…
UNICEF To Consider Starving Children On A Case-By-Case Basis Due To Budget Cuts
LOS ANGELES — UNICEF announced early Monday morning that it would consider providing meals to starving children on a case-by-case…
Olympic Committee Reevaluates LA Bid After Seeing B-Plate Portion Sizes
MANKATO, MN–Just weeks after declaring the 2028 Olympic bid will be offered to the City of Los Angeles, International Olympic…
a construct grammar social be
— , WestWOOD, CA knowing grammar this important not is for I am with; if artificial I am – then…