Birthright Trip Also Subsidizes Guilt
JERUSALEM—In a press release, Birthright Israel has stated they will now subsidize the guilt liberal American participants feel for being in a program sponsored by […]
International
BREAKING: We Have The Meats
FLAVORTOWN, USA—Sources, those sources being your mother #$&%@$@ tastebuds, man, report that fast food chain and purveyor of carnivorous atrocities Arby’s does, in fact, have […]
Bruins For Israel Pretty Quiet This Week
WESTWOOD — UCLA students noted that the campus group Bruins For Israel has been pretty quiet this week following the killing of more than 60 […]
Study: Discarded USAC Flyers Make Up Majority of Great Pacific Garbage Patch
PACIFIC OCEAN — A study performed by the UCLA Department of Atmospheric and Oceanic Sciences found that the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is primarily composed […]
Huge Upset: Avengers Infinity War Outperforms Amy Schumer Movie
HOLLYWOOD — Critics’ expectations were defied this week when Avengers: Infinity War brought in more money than Amy Schumer’s I Feel Pretty. “I’m extremely surprised […]
Administration In Turmoil: Rex Tillerson Was The Last Staffer Who Knew The White House Wi-Fi Password
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past fourteen months, you know that the Trump White House has been an absolute mess. It […]
UNICEF To Consider Starving Children On A Case-By-Case Basis Due To Budget Cuts
LOS ANGELES — UNICEF announced early Monday morning that it would consider providing meals to starving children on a case-by-case basis due to budget cuts, citing […]
Olympic Committee Reevaluates LA Bid After Seeing B-Plate Portion Sizes
MANKATO, MN – Just weeks after declaring the 2028 Olympic bid will be offered to the City of Los Angeles, International Olympic Committee President Thomas […]
a construct grammar social be
— , WestWOOD, CA knowing grammar this important not is for I am with; if artificial I am – then what. grammar were be! that […]
Local FC Barcelona Fan Learns What Catalonia Is
WESTWOOD — Local FC Barcelona supporter and self described “football, not soccer” fanatic Rick Lionsgate was startled to find Barcelona was located in Catalonia, the […]