PRAGUE — In an event some are calling “Kafkaesque,” businessman Greg Sammsa woke up this morning and found himself transformed into a giant insect. “This is so dystopian-core,” buzzed Greg, who is more upset about having to miss work than now being a cockroach. “Big Brother is totally watching right now… Wait, fuck, that’s the wrong thing.” At press time, Sammsa was seen mumbling about “society, man” and crawling buggily around his room.
