BREAKING: Vegas Is Ready For Your Girls’ Trip

NEVADA – In a statement released Friday afternoon, the city of Las Vegas affirmed that it is, in fact, ready for your girls’ trip. “I’m calling for a state of non-emergency due to the recent influx of social media posts claiming ‘Vegas ain’t ready,’” said county commissioner Tick Segerblom, while painting a billboard reading “You CAN take her anywhere.” “We were the playground of freaking Al Capone and we’ll literally kill a man for counting cards. I’m sure we can face a threat like Becky, even after one too many daiquiris.” At press time, Becky was seen vomiting into a Bellagio trash can, placed there for exactly that reason.