LOS ANGELES — In a development that is sure to bring about nationwide revelry, every single celebrity has now appeared on every other celebrity’s podcast, lifting the curse that was cast by the spirit of Joe Rogan’s testicles in 2009 and freeing us all. “The crucial tipping point happened Monday morning, when Sir Ian McKellen appeared on Ned’s Declassified Podcast Survival Guide to talk about his love for the show,” said Kyle Santos, a devoted podcast listener who has listened to every episode of Armchair Expert and has no marketable skills. “At that moment, the final piece clicked into place, creating a complete graph with thousands of nodes, each representing a celebrity who guested on yet another interview podcast where the host ‘gets real.’ Thus, the spell was broken and the good people of this nation can finally go about their day without wondering what wild and wacky stories that Emily Blunt might have from the set of Mary Poppins Returns.’’ At press time, Santos was thinking about starting his own podcast.
