New Study Shows This Other Gorilla Seriously Starting To Piss Me Off
CENTRAL AFRICA — A new study from the jungle has found that this other gorilla is seriously starting to piss me off. “Stop copying me!” […]
Articles by Maya Chatrathi
Top Five Books That Could’ve Been An Email
To Whom It May Concern, In today’s world, clear and concise communication is more important than ever. Electronic messaging has revolutionized almost every aspect of […]
Generous UCLA Admin Gives Week Off For Students To Process Drake-Kendrick Feud
WESTWOOD — In a move that exemplifies the generosity and kindness they are known for, the UCLA administration announced on Monday that they would give […]
Breaking: Every Celebrity Has Now Appeared On Every Other Celebrity’s Podcast, Lifting The Curse And Freeing Us All
LOS ANGELES — In a development that is sure to bring about nationwide revelry, every single celebrity has now appeared on every other celebrity’s podcast, […]
Meant To Be: The Cruel And Beautiful Strings Of Fate Have Caused Our Paths To Cross On This Four-Way Crosswalk
Hello again, stranger. It’s funny, isn’t it? How life works. Despite meeting mere moments ago, our bodies are now locked in an ancient ritual, performing […]
Guy Who’s Not Happy To See You Just Has Banana In Pocket
WESTWOOD — Area man Jeremy Bentham clarified Tuesday that he was not, in fact, aroused by your presence, and that the bulge in his pants […]
Filthy Stinking Liar Doesn’t Actually Have To Sneeze
WESTWOOD — Local student and wretched deceiver Al Ergiess showed his true colors on Wednesday when he appeared to prepare for a sneeze that ultimately […]
Woman Unpleasant To Talk To Even After She’s Had Her Coffee
LOS ANGELES — Linda Caprice, a 43-year-old mother of two and proud owner of a “Don’t Talk To Me Until I’ve Had My Coffee” mug, […]
Gene Block Gathering Two Of Each Major For Ark
WESTWOOD — Following the historic rains and flood warnings in Los Angeles, it was reported late Sunday night that UCLA chancellor Gene Block has begun […]
Former Plane-Seat-Kicking Baby Now Lecture-Seat-Kicking Adult
WESTWOOD — The student who keeps kicking your seat during lecture recently disclosed that he has been training for this moment since he was a […]