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A&E

Rudy Giuliani Still Waiting On Text From Maria Bakalova

October 26, 2020 Max Flora 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After his encounter with actress Maria Bakalova in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, attorney Rudy Giuliani is still waiting for her to reach out […]

Op-Ed: Women Under 5’6” Should Be Allowed To See Little Women For Free

March 24, 2020 Grace Johnston-Glick 0

When I first saw Little Women I was surprised by how big the women were. I quickly got over my shock when I realized that […]

Hands Touching Face Category Added To Pornhub

March 19, 2020 Hayden Wideman 0

LOS ANGELES — Due to the rapid spread of coronavirus, precautionary measures put in place to combat the virus have only highlighted the sensual nature […]

Dungeons And Dragons Game Disbanded For Problematic Focus On Race And Class

March 1, 2020 Jade Lacy 0

WESTWOOD — The UCLA Office of Equity, Diversity & Inclusion has officially shut down roleplaying club Bodacious Bards’ newest Dungeons and Dragons campaign after students […]

Students Disturbed That North Campus Sculpture Not Naked

February 29, 2020 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD — Following the reveal of the latest addition to the North Campus sculpture garden, many students expressed how disturbing it was that the sculpture […]

Area Douche Identifies With TV Anti-Hero

February 13, 2020 Jay Varhula 0

WESTWOOD — In what onlookers have described as a “display of pure originality,” local douchebag Jake Gordonsky revealed last Friday that he totally identifies with […]

Flustered Quentin Tarantino Begins Teaching Himself Korean

February 12, 2020 Max Flora 0

HOLLYWOOD — Acclaimed film director Quentin Tarantino, after losing an Academy Award to Parasite, has reportedly begun teaching himself Korean. “I thought the Academy would […]

Gang Of Musical Theater Majors Terrorizes Students, Snaps Rhythmically

February 5, 2020 Jade Lacy 0

WESTWOOD — This past week, a roving gang of musical theater students hell-bent on verbally, physically, and musically assaulting every non-Gleek within reach plagued UCLA’s […]

Number of Acapella Groups Reaches Triple Digits

November 21, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

WESTWOOD — Local UCLA officials reported today that the number of campus acapella groups has reached triple digits, and shows no sign of slowing down. […]

Academy Accidentally Leaks Next Year’s “In Memoriam” Segment

November 18, 2019 Dylan Wood 0

LOS ANGELES — Members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences are attempting damage control following reports that next year’s Oscars “In Memoriam” […]

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