New York Times Endorses Festering Corpse Of George McGovern For President
NEW YORK — The New York Times editorial board made the unexpected choice Sunday to endorse George McGovern, failed 1972 presidential candidate and rotting corpse, […]
National
Report: Whistleblower Not Actually Man Blowing Whistle
WASHINGTON, D.C — In light of President Donald Trump’s ongoing impeachment process, it has been brought to the attention of the general public that a […]
Biden Cautions Voters To Not Let Their Dreams Become Reality
CEDAR RAPIDS — At a campaign stop in Iowa on Thursday, former Vice President and Democratic hopeful Joe Biden cautioned voters to not let their […]
Bald Eagle Buys Wig
ROCKPORT, WA — Visitors at the Skagit River Bald Eagle Interpretive Center report spotting a bald eagle flying near the Center wearing a fashionable wig. […]
Potential Employer Glad You Reached Out
LOS ANGELES — A potential employer called a press conference at 8:35 this morning to announce how glad they are that you reached out. “We […]
Dick Cheney Finds Unlikely Success as TikTok Star
CASPER, WY — Former Vice President Dick Cheney created an account on TikTok last week and credited Donald Trump as the inspiration behind his decision […]
Cole Sprouse Admits He Absorbed Third Sprouse Child In Womb
LOS ANGELES — Earlier this week during an informal interview inside of an Applebee’s, Cole Sprouse revealed that he absorbed his third brother, Sheldon, while […]
Trump Denies Collusion, Claims To Be Ukrainian President
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump appears to be firing back after being thoroughly criticized for his conversation with Volodymyr Zelensky, the Ukrainian president. “Witch […]
Drunk Area Woman Reverses Stance on Cigarettes
PORTLAND — After a former public record of speaking out against her peers’ use of cigarettes, area woman Cheyenne Rhodes appeared to have flip-flopped on […]
No Progress Made To UCLA Internet After Invention Of Internet
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