Op-Ed: Jesus Christ, My Heel Hurts So Much
I went to the doctor the other day. I had been having stabbing pains in my heel for well over a decade. My wife, John […]
Opinion
Guy Making Jokes In Lecture Chat Releases Netflix Special
WESTWOOD — Third-year psychobiology student Neil Korsch is preparing to release a Netflix stand-up comedy special later this month after his critically acclaimed set in […]
Op-Ed: Everyone Is Getting COVID Without Me And I Have Major FOMO
How would you feel if every day you checked the news and saw that hundreds of thousands of people were going to a party, and […]
UCLA Campus Available To Sublet Spring Quarter, Utilities Included
WESTWOOD — At 3 a.m. PST Monday morning, the UCLA Board of Directors released a statement on the “UCLA Free And For Sale” Facebook page […]
Op-Ed: I’m Tired Of Writing Fluff Pieces For The Westwood Enabler
As a member of the premiere satirical newspaper at UCLA, I personally feel like I’m being held back. I know I got what it takes […]
Op-Ed: Our Carbon Footprints Aren’t As Big As Our Carbon Assprints
To preface this argument, I would just like to acknowledge that I care about society a lot. I do think that the climate is changing […]
Op-Ed: Maybe The Real President Is The Friends We Made Along The Way
It’s been one heck of an election year, folks. And I don’t know about y’all, but I had a swell time. From eating corn dogs […]
Op-Ed: As A Student Athlete, I Only Break Quarantine To Slap My Friend’s Ass
I am a proud member of the UCLA basketball team, and I respect that COVID-19 is a serious threat to the community. I would never […]
Op-Ed: Bernie Sanders Can Still Win 2016 Presidential Election
The lies of the bourgeois press may have led you to believe that the 2016 presidential election has already concluded. Well, I’m here to tell […]
Roommate Going To Finish Bananas This Time
WESTWOOD — After returning from Ralphs today at 12:30 p.m. PST, your roommate assured you that he is definitely going to finish the bananas he […]