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Life

President Biden holding lipstick and wearing lipstick.

Joe Biden Pledges To Give Every IDF Soldier A Kiss On The Lips

November 29, 2023 Anonymous 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following increasing calls for a ceasefire since the start of the Israel-Palestine conflict, Joe Biden has declared that he will personally go […]

Academic Weapon Commits To Pacifism

November 28, 2023 Alyssa Wong 0

WESTWOOD – In a press release sent out at 2 a.m. today, second-year neuroscience major Pri Medd announced she would officially be laying down her […]

Cartoon dinosaur wearing sunglasses and playing the electric guitar.

“What’s The World’s Smartest Dinosaur? A Thesaurus!” And 3 Other Silly Jokes About Dinosaurs And Thesauruses To Impress Your Unresponsive Father

November 26, 2023 Harry Song 0

Just a well-written joke all around! The multiple synonyms at the end really make that punchline hit hard, and your father will definitely see that […]

BPlate Unveils New “Eldritch Concoction” Dish

November 21, 2023 Evan Ballow 0

BPLATE CATACOMBS — UCLA Dining unveiled its latest culinary offering, the Eldritch Concoction, Sunday evening in an underground ceremony featuring fanatical chants, quinoa, and ritual […]

White Girl Loves De Neve’s Luxury Multi-Cultural Dining

November 5, 2023 Meghan Mason 0

First-year World Arts and Culture major Meg Ann Smith was overjoyed with the wide variety of sophisticated cuisine as well as the tasteful lighting and […]

Interesting: That 7-Month Stretch Was Actually A Situationship

November 2, 2023 Ava Allam 0

WESTWOOD — As third-year English major Anne Cloyne checked fellow student and love interest Robert Dikk’s Snapchat score for the fifth time in ten minutes, […]

Upstairs Neighbor Majoring In Creative Stomping

November 2, 2023 Lily Kiamanesh 0

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year biology major Maggie Graham was delighted to learn Monday that her upstairs neighbor is majoring in Creative Stomping. “It must be such […]

Student Hits Snooze On All 5 Aspirationally Early Alarms

October 30, 2023 Theo Zhang 0

WESTWOOD — This morning, after sleeping through all five of their alarms, third-year Neuroscience major Terry Sleepyhead finally got up at noon for their aspirational […]

“Let’s Work On That, Friend!” Roommate Can’t Shake Her Camp Counselor Energy

October 18, 2023 Meghan Mason 0

WESTWOOD — Second-year Education and Social Transformation major Jessica Thomas, better known as Lead Counselor Super Sparkles, came back to campus with a distinct new […]

Gene Block in suit.

Opinion: On-Campus Residents Should Tip Their Landlord

October 17, 2023 Milo Ellison 0

A little birdie told me that people on campus aren’t fulfilling their duty of tipping Mr. GB. After getting a measly 25% raise to $625,000 […]

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