Boelter Scientists Announce Creation Of Slowest Elevator Possible
WESTWOOD — During a press conference late Thursday evening, a team of scientists from Boelter Hall announced that they had created the slowest elevator possible. […]
WESTWOOD — During a press conference late Thursday evening, a team of scientists from Boelter Hall announced that they had created the slowest elevator possible. […]
WESTWOOD — Due to a power outage, a Westwood resident was forced to use a candle as a light source rather than for its primary […]
MANHATTAN — Hey! Yeah, youse over there! I’m walkin’ here! You think you’re so classy in your fancy Toyota whip, huh? Oh, did I scare […]
BURBANK — Following declining viewership, ABC announced early Monday morning that they would be creating a new chancellor-themed spinoff to the hit reality TV show […]
LOS ANGELES – In a move described as “childish” and an “unjustifiable use of public funds,” the LA Metro announced late Friday night it would […]
TRADER JOE’S HEADQUARTERS — Trader Joe’s executives have revealed that most of their sales for the year of our lord 2023 have come from their […]
WESTWOOD — First-year urban planning major Jimmy Johnson was shocked to find that there were people exiting the Rieber Hall elevator when it reached the […]
WESTWOOD — We’ve all been there, strutting down the sidewalk, listening to Radiohead and scowling occasionally so that people know you’ve got a dark secret, […]
WESTWOOD — In an attempt to rebrand as a skinny queen, Fat Sal’s is saying bye-bye to grease and hello to semaglutide in its famous […]
SCHITHOLE, WV — The Westwood Enabler sat down with Donald Gleeson, self-proclaimed economist and avid spit-shouter while watching Fox News, who currently shares rent with […]
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