Dating apps are difficult. Yeah, I said it. “Heyyyyy haha! I also like cats! Lolz!” “WYD” “Taking a shower? Without me?” And I get nothing. What gives? It’s pretty hard being the only non-monogamous adventure loving doggo owner that’s looking for short (but open to long) relationships. I even paid for hinge premium. Nobody can handle that I love to laugh, go on spontaneous adventures, and communicate. It’s just not working.
That’s why I’ve decided it’s time to start fucking my friends. I know these people already like me — no awkward talking stage or Epicuria dates — and surely if they know me they must carnally want me. It will be like having friends, but with the benefit of having sex. I’m so smart for inventing this. There are no downsides to this plan. By day, we’ll be taking LS7A together. By night, we’ll be teaching each other our own biology. It’s perfect. If we’re hanging out with another friend and they feel like they’re third wheeling? Sounds like the perfect time to bring up the possibility of a threesome! A party where I invite a few people I’m fucking at once? Orgy time! Nobody will be excluded, because I’ll be fucking everyone. What could go wrong?
