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All Things Enabled

Stay tuned for recordings of our gripping podcast! It’ll grip ya!

Opinion: IBS Isn’t Hot Because Diarrhea Is Gross, Actually

January 11, 2023 A Concerned Citizen 0

Have you heard about how hot girls have IBS? How all the hottest girls are on a low FODMAP diet and can’t look at a […]

UCLA’s Final Offer: Replace All TAs With This Cute Widdle Guy

December 14, 2022 Aidan Brooks 0

WESTWOOD — In a bold move, UCLA officials have announced plans to fire all teaching assistants and replace them with Mr. Pudding. “We are always […]

Trend Watch! The Case To Bring Back Lead Poisoning

December 1, 2022 Lucas Humel 0

From bell-bottoms to tube tops, the next generation is scouring the history books for new and exciting ways to kick it old-school. But fashion doesn’t […]

Opinion: How Bringing My Copy Of “Ready Player Two” With Me To The Dining Hall Helped Me Get Laid

November 24, 2022 Bustopher Jones 0

Like many UCLA students, I had hoped to experience my first romance at this fine institution, but as an oft-ignored fellow, that moment seemed like […]

Fraternity Announces Only Moms Are Invited To Party This Weekend

October 28, 2022 Ava Allam 0

WESTWOOD — Your mom and dad just called, and they’re coming to visit you for Parents’ Weekend. Unfortunately for you, it’s also Halloweekend: arguably the […]

Punching Down: Short King Victims Speak Out

October 24, 2022 Lucas Humel 0

WESTWOOD — The tempers of Short Kings everywhere are at an all time medium today, as recent instances of vertically-motivated violence have given a much […]

Hedrick Fire Alarm Going Off To This. Sick. Beat.

October 16, 2022 Aidan Brooks 0

WESTWOOD — Residents of Hedrick Hall have been increasingly frustrated with the recent switch from standard fire alarms to ones with a small Taylor Swift trapped […]

“No More Mr. Nice Guy!” Says Man Who Never Respected You To Begin With

October 16, 2022 Dana Badii 0

WESTWOOD — The planet as we know it was shaken to its core today when local Mr. Nice Guy Neil Belmont officially renounced his title. […]

Westwood Streets Shut Down For Joe Biden

October 16, 2022 Jade Lacy 0

UCLA Purchases Expansion Campus In Downtown LA

October 6, 2022 Maya Chatrathi 0

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Lucas Humel
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