Trend Watch! Places In Los Angeles Everyone Should Projectile Vomit At Least Once
Leaving LA for summer? Or maybe forever? Before you go, use our recs to leave your mark all over Tinsel Town. Here’s every place in […]
Articles by Melissa Beining
Timothée Chalamet Tells The Enabler Why He’s Dating Kylie Jenner
“Life is short, youth is fleeting, death comes for us all.”
Triangle of Sadness? This Woman Has a UTI
Watching the Oscars? Here are our quick takes on the Best Picture nominees! Buy me dinner first! Give ‘em a mic, I say! I sure […]
Opinion: How I Get So Much Volume In My Hair I Can’t Hear My Roommate Face-Timing Her Boyfriend
Step 1: I take a shower. This gives me an excuse to avoid hearing my roommate cycle through pet names for her five foot eight […]
Uh-oh! You Did Your Makeup So Weird The Nice Girls Are Complimenting Your Unstyled Hair Instead
WESTWOOD — Reporting live from a packed Roebling backyard, the Enabler can confirm you did your makeup so weird that the nice girls are complimenting […]
Ask The Enabler: “Best Places To Hide A Vibrator In A Classic Triple?”
If a roommate questions why your portable charger is covered in white marks and has an odor, the safest bet is to blame it on […]
Gene Block Says Campus Wifi Won’t Truly Get Better Until It Learns To Accept Help
WESTWOOD— Gene Block told the UCLA community on Wednesday that administrators staged a “promising” intervention with the campus WiFi, but admitted that we can’t expect […]
Quirky, Enigmatic, Brilliant, And Other Adjectives To Describe Daniel Radcliffe
TORONTO — On the red carpet of his recent biopic premiere, Weird Al Yankovic offered our reporter some words that can be used to describe […]
Screaming, Crying, Throwing Up: Learn To Spot The Symptoms Of E. coli
WESTWOOD — The CDC is reportedly concerned that signs of E. coli are being confused with reactions by some members of the public to recent […]
Sloppy Drunk Joe Biden Spotted At Fat Sal’s
WESTWOOD— Joe Biden was spotted just after 1 a.m. Saturday morning at the Westwood Fat Sal’s, having wined and dined the day away with the […]