Top Five Goonable Robots
Robots. One of the greatest and most attractive inventions ever thought up. They can help you with chores, they have superhuman strength, and best of […]
Celebrities
Jay Leno Arrested After Aiming Chin At Conan O’Brien At Oscars Afterparty
HOLLYWOOD — Vanity Fair’s 2025 Oscar Party dissolved into a state of panic after former Tonight Show host Jay Leno aimed his chin at fellow […]
U.S. Army Chorus Perform ‘Do You Hear The People Sing’ In Brave Protest Against Themselves
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Army Choir, who thought that ‘Les Miserables’ was French for ‘Miserable Lesbians’, conducted a fearless uprising against the U.S. military […]
Low-Hanging Fruit: Bad Comedian’s Balls Are Really Heavy
AUSTIN — After a joke asking the woke mob to ‘DEI these nutz’, unfunny comedian Matt Rifle felt the beans in his wrinkly scrotum swell […]
Quirky! Indie Kid Records Concert On 3DS
LOS ANGELES – While waiting for the Tyler, the Creator concert to begin, one indie kid made it his life’s mission to record the entire […]
Ruh Roh! Scooby-Doo Put Down
OHIO — Tragedy struck this morning as beloved speech-impaired dog Scooby-Doo was put down. “He, like, mauled an old guy for pretending he was a […]
Fine, Sure, Whatever: The Bear Wins Grammy for Song of the Year
LOS ANGELES — In a shocking upset, FX’s “The Bear” has won this year’s Grammy Award for Song of the Year. “I don’t really know […]
Ariana Grande Turns White After Eating Really Good Meatloaf
BOCA RATON, FL – Ethnically ambiguous queen Ariana Grande has become white again after taking a bite of good ol’ fashioned meatloaf. “Well, golly! I […]
I Lived It: My Face Card Got Declined
WESTWOOD – It’s 3:30, and I just got out of class to go to Kerckhoff Coffeehouse. It’s been a long day and I need my […]