Smokey the Bear Kinda Hot Now

WEST HOLLYWOOD – After a rebrand by the National Parks Service, local onlookers and passersby have been stunned by the fact that Smokey the Bear is kinda hot now. “I got a fire that bear’s gonna have to put out,” steamed local twink Julian Malone, who had found Smokey’s grindr account after extensive searching. “National Parks are good and all too, I guess. But when has a Joshua Tree ever turned me on?” At press time, Malone was seen throwing a lit cigarette into the driest plants he could find.

About Gabe McNeill 20 Articles
Known primarily for his roles in the Watergate break-in and the breakup of The Beatles, Gabe McNeill was inspired to write for The Enabler after the Daily Bruin fired him.