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Culture

Respectful Fourth-Year Only Dates First-Years 18 Or Older

November 10, 2020 Max Flora 0

WESTWOOD — According to a source close to him, fourth-year biology major Josh Winfrey has chosen to respect the women at UCLA and only date […]

Area Man Enters Hour Three of Describing Music Taste

November 2, 2020 Jade Lacy 0

WESTWOOD — Third-year film student Doug Babcock has been filibustering a real conversation for three hours now, after an acquaintance made the mistake of asking […]

Rudy Giuliani Still Waiting On Text From Maria Bakalova

October 26, 2020 Max Flora 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After his encounter with actress Maria Bakalova in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, attorney Rudy Giuliani is still waiting for her to reach out […]

BREAKING: Grandma Downloaded TikTok

October 19, 2020 Jade Lacy 0

DALLAS — Local senior citizen Dolly Berkshire amassed one million followers on TikTok Friday morning, a milestone she has been approaching since her video dancing […]

Op-Ed: As A Student Athlete, I Only Break Quarantine To Slap My Friend’s Ass

October 14, 2020 Connor Marshall 0

I am a proud member of the UCLA basketball team, and I respect that COVID-19 is a serious threat to the community. I would never […]

Cal Develops Vaccine, Still Fails To Secure #1 Spot

October 5, 2020 Max Flora 0

BERKELEY — Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley developed a vaccine for the viral Covid-19 at 11 a.m. on Monday, and yet the university […]

Hands Touching Face Category Added To Pornhub

March 19, 2020 Hayden Wideman 0

LOS ANGELES — Due to the rapid spread of coronavirus, precautionary measures put in place to combat the virus have only highlighted the sensual nature […]

Local Huskies Speak Out Against Husky Guy: “We Don’t Know Him”

March 5, 2020 Jack Grossman 0

WESTWOOD — Students passing through Bruin Plaza Tuesday afternoon were met with an impromptu press conference held by a group of local huskies in an […]

Amazing! Study Finds Set Of Identical Twins Separated At Birth Both Suck

March 5, 2020 Yvonne Delzompo 0

JERSEY CITY, NJ — In a groundbreaking new study, a team of geneticists discovered that a set of identical twins, separated at birth, both grew […]

Dungeons And Dragons Game Disbanded For Problematic Focus On Race And Class

March 1, 2020 Jade Lacy 0

WESTWOOD — The UCLA Office of Equity, Diversity & Inclusion has officially shut down roleplaying club Bodacious Bards’ newest Dungeons and Dragons campaign after students […]

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