Debt Collectors Find Powell Cat Alive in the Cayman Islands

CAYMAN ISLANDS — After his presumed death last March, debt collectors have found Powell Cat alive and well, sipping on Mai Tais in the Cayman Islands. “It’s been months of combing through financial records,” said resident UCPD forensic accountant Rob Jones, who recently petitioned to add a ‘Powell Cat Recovery Fee’ on Bruin Bill. “After seeing tens of thousands of USAC dollars going toward catnip, furry pornography, and phallic scratching posts, our team was able put two and two together and finally track Powell Cat down. We would have caught him sooner, but honestly the purchases didn’t seem unusual after what the CEC bought for Pink Pantheress’s Bruin Bash.” Though Powell Cat’s court date is set for June 2024, UCPD and UCLA administration can rest easy tonight knowing that they finally caught this pussy.