Articles by Ava Abrishamchian
Opinion: “Samueli?” More Like “Smelly.” You Stink!
WESTWOOD — UCLA is known for its beautiful architecture and iconic buildings. Even with a melancholy Mathematic Sciences Building, UCLA can keep its top spot […]
Small Discussion Group Grows Into Medium Discussion Group
WESTWOOD — Students in class Monday morning discovered that their small discussion group has expanded into their worst nightmare: a medium sized discussion group. “It […]
U.S. Mistakenly Shoots Down Stoner in Place of “High Altitude Object”:
CANADIAN AIRSPACE — Late this afternoon, the United States military shot down Colorado native and active stoner, Alexander Payton, after mistaking him for another Chinese […]
Student Enters Long-Distance Relationship with Hedrick Summit Resident
WESTWOOD — After long deliberation, first-year Dykstra resident Elizabeth Lowes has decided to follow her heart and pursue a long-distance relationship with Hedrick Summit resident […]
Girl On Self-Discovery Journey Has Yet To Discover She’s A Bitch
LOS ANGELES — After a full two and a half months, Sarah Myers has officially returned from “Sarah’s Self-Discovery Journey,” yet she did not seem […]