Opinion: “Samueli?” More Like “Smelly.” You Stink!

WESTWOOD UCLA is known for its beautiful architecture and iconic buildings. Even with a melancholy Mathematic Sciences Building, UCLA can keep its top spot in “Most Beautiful Campus Magazine,” or whatever it’s called. But what is that smell? Is it a dead rat in the vents? No! Those are actual engineering students in the Samueli School of Engineering. There has to be a typo there. Are you sure they didn’t mean to write “Smelly School of Engineering?” It’s not like engineers can read or write.

Dear engineers, I realize that you have to take a lot of units each quarter. And with class averages being 20%, your life must be really difficult. That doesn’t mean you can’t take a shower! You’ve passed your classes with at least a 50%, but you don’t even shower 50% of the time. On and off campus, every living space has a shower. And guess what, you should fucking use it. Use your lecture recordings as background music as you get to scrubbing that smell off you. I promise, it’ll help.

Your superiority complex can’t hide how much you stink. Take a shower, please.

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About Ava Abrishamchian 6 Articles
Ava Abrishamchian, not Ayvuh you dip-shit. Her writing is sub par at best and her timing is even worse. She peaked in high school, and she still has not recovered. Believe me... somewhere in this hospital, the anguished "oink" of Pig-Man cries out for help.