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Health

Coughers In Your Lecture Actually Experimental A Cappella Group

December 5, 2023 Alyssa Wong 0

WESTWOOD – In an exclusive Westwood Enabler interview, third-year physiological science major Ian Fluenza, spokesperson for the coughers in your lecture, announced that everyone coughing […]

Rendezvous sign with additional sign that says "Bless this mess"

UCLA To Open Rendez Midwest Offering Daily Casserole Specials

November 30, 2023 Tal Israeli 0

MIDWESTWOOD — UCLA Dining has unveiled plans to expand its Rendezvous West & East dining halls with an extension focused on a different regional cuisine: […]

Cartoon dinosaur wearing sunglasses and playing the electric guitar.

“What’s The World’s Smartest Dinosaur? A Thesaurus!” And 3 Other Silly Jokes About Dinosaurs And Thesauruses To Impress Your Unresponsive Father

November 26, 2023 Harry Song 0

Just a well-written joke all around! The multiple synonyms at the end really make that punchline hit hard, and your father will definitely see that […]

White, blond man smiling

Golden Retriever Energy! Man Diagnosed With Bone Cancer

November 26, 2023 Elena Whitlock 0

RONALD REAGAN HOSPITAL — Local resident John Smith, a boyish man whose off-putting Hinge bio describes him as having “golden retriever energy,” has recently received […]

BPlate Unveils New “Eldritch Concoction” Dish

November 21, 2023 Evan Ballow 0

BPLATE CATACOMBS — UCLA Dining unveiled its latest culinary offering, the Eldritch Concoction, Sunday evening in an underground ceremony featuring fanatical chants, quinoa, and ritual […]

Student Hits Snooze On All 5 Aspirationally Early Alarms

October 30, 2023 Theo Zhang 0

WESTWOOD — This morning, after sleeping through all five of their alarms, third-year Neuroscience major Terry Sleepyhead finally got up at noon for their aspirational […]

“Heyy Girly!! Do You Mind If I Use Your First Aid Kit?” Asks Roommate Bleeding To Death

October 12, 2023 Maya Chatrathi 0

WESTWOOD — Third-year physics major Annabel Brown texted her roommate asking for permission to use her first aid kit Thursday, as she lay bleeding to […]

Opinion: I Listened To The Daily Once, And Now I Am Omniscient

June 7, 2023 Eric Rousso 0

Greetings, lesser one. It is I, your neighbor in POLSCI 30, here to inform you of my recent endeavors in the political sphere. Last night, […]

“It’s Just Seasonal Depression,” Says Student During Spring Quarter

May 24, 2023 Sabrina Ellis 0

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Primrose Miller claimed Monday that their depression is just seasonal, despite it being week eight of spring quarter. “I’m usually totally fine. […]

UniBud Now Accepting ASUCLA Meal Tickets

May 17, 2023 Anastasia Vanderpool 0

WESTWOOD — ASUCLA announced last Sunday that it is partnering with UniBud to bring students all of their kushy needs, now accessible via their student […]

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