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Student Voices

Op-Ed: As A Student Athlete, I Only Break Quarantine To Slap My Friend’s Ass

October 14, 2020 Connor Marshall 0

I am a proud member of the UCLA basketball team, and I respect that COVID-19 is a serious threat to the community. I would never […]

Roommate Going To Finish Bananas This Time

October 6, 2020 Jay Varhula 0

WESTWOOD — After returning from Ralphs today at 12:30 p.m. PST, your roommate assured you that he is definitely going to finish the bananas he […]

Students Disturbed That North Campus Sculpture Not Naked

February 29, 2020 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD — Following the reveal of the latest addition to the North Campus sculpture garden, many students expressed how disturbing it was that the sculpture […]

Op-Ed: Crosswalk May Stop My Walk, But It Cannot Stop The Winds Of Time

February 18, 2020 Jay Varhula 0

Well well well, look who it is. Mister “Oh you have to wait a few seconds even though there are no cars.” You think you’re […]

Week Five Has Students Saying “Oh Wow, It’s Week Five”

February 5, 2020 Jessica Block 0

WESTWOOD — It is now week five of the quarter, which means students across campus are realizing it is the fifth week of the quarter. […]

Feminist Hero Comments “OMG!!!” On Female Acquaintance’s Instagram Photo

January 22, 2020 Mackenzi Elias 0

LOS ANGELES — In the name of advancing women’s equality, feminist hero Serena Colli commented “OMG!!!” on a female acquaintance’s photo. “I don’t even know […]

Local Man Not Nazi, Just Thinks Swastikas Look Cool

November 21, 2019 Jade Lacy 0

LOS ANGELES — In an unsolicited interview Friday evening, local WASP Luke Campbell adamantly refused any allegiance to the Third Reich, despite a prominent swastika […]

Op-Ed: Never Mind, It’s Just Another Amber Alert

October 21, 2019 Darryl Daniels 0

WESTWOOD — Oh my god, my phone’s buzzing. Do you hear that? What if it’s something important? Maybe it’s Mark calling, finally confessing his love […]

Capitol Hill Intern Excited To Finally “Call The Shots”

August 26, 2019 Jennifer Harbeck 0

WESTWOOD — In a frank conversation last Tuesday during his lower-division PS40 discussion section, second-year political science major Jake O’Brien admitted he was looking forward […]

Woman Comfortable With Stranger’s Genitals In Mouth Doesn’t Eat Gluten

August 26, 2019 Kylie Kinne 0

WESTWOOD — In a Westwood Enabler exclusive interview, third-year Rebecca Wright announced that she will be starting a gluten-free diet, although she plans to continue […]

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