BALTIMORE — A recent Johns Hopkins University study concluded that prenatal ultrasounds can detect fetuses’ chakras as early as ten weeks into pregnancy.
“Our findings show that a routine ultrasound can detect spiritual energy emanating from fetal chakras at just ten weeks,” stated Dr. Caleb Morton, one of the lead researchers on the study. “While the third eye chakra has only just started to come in at this point, the sacral chakra is fully developed, which means that your baby is capable of channeling its creative impulses into a feeling of self-abundance.”
Medical professionals anticipate that the study will open up new possibilities for prenatal care. While pregnant women often alter their diets and lifestyles for their babies’ physical well-being, Morton predicts that doctors will soon encourage expecting mothers to consider the spiritual wellness of their babies as well.
“In addition to taking vitamins and avoiding alcohol, it’s crucial to take steps to open your baby’s solar plexus chakra,” said Morton. “I recommend a strict regimen of bergamot essential oils, self-love affirmations, and bright yellow or yellowish-green crystals.”
Many pro-life advocates have embraced the study’s findings, arguing that they provide medical proof that abortion is unethical.
“The Bible tells us that the Lord Jesus’ life began when prana flowed from his root chakra to the sahasrara,” said anti-abortion activist Eustace Garrett. “If your unborn baby could heal his throat chakra and harness its full potential for communication and expression, he would tell you he wants to live.”
Regardless of the study’s political implications, Morton is confident that these findings will help mothers and medical professionals alike make safer decisions about pregnancy and childbirth.
“I’ll never forget the time I had to look a mother in the eye and tell her that her child was born with an imbalanced heart chakra and would never fully be able to receive positive energy from romantic partners,” said Morton. “Hopefully, by learning more about how these spiritual nodes develop, we can prevent tragedies like that in the future. We cannot and will not go back.”