Capitol Hill Intern Excited To Finally “Call The Shots”
WESTWOOD — In a frank conversation last Tuesday during his lower-division PS40 discussion section, second-year political science major Jake O’Brien admitted he was looking forward […]
Articles by Jennifer Harbeck
Ally Would Totally Date Girls If Like, Into That
WESTWOOD — Reports confirm this past Tuesday, Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender (L.G.B.T.) ally Jillian Smith claimed she would totally date girls if she was like, […]
Ex-Boyfriend Just Checking In
WESTWOOD — Settling any rumors that either party still harbors feelings post-breakup, your ex-boyfriend is “just checking in” to let you know he has definitely […]
Trump Accidentally Fires Self 200 Days In
WASHINTON, DC — Donald Trump, current President of the United States, accidentally fired himself on Monday, 200 days into his term, sources say. “In the […]
Point: USAC Is An Essential Part of Student Representation/Counterpoint: USAC Kind Of Sounds Like Ballsack
Point: USAC Is An Essential Part of Student Representation By: Janice Miller The Undergraduate Student Association Council serves UCLA through creating programs and passing […]
Julian Assange Gets A Timeout
LONDON—During this week’s U.S. Presidential Debate, Julian Assange, WikiLeaks editor-in-chief, was put on time out. “Assange has been a very naughty naughty boy these past […]
Frat Boy Fears Commitment On Valentine’s Day Too
WESTWOOD—Waking up next to yet another drunken hookup, third-year frat brother Tanner McCormick confessed to reporters he was not interested in pursuing a long term […]