Julian Assange Gets A Timeout

Sources confirmed that Assange will not be receiving a gold star sticker on his behavior chart.
Sources confirmed that Assange will not be receiving a gold star sticker on his behavior chart.

LONDON—During this week’s U.S. Presidential Debate, Julian Assange, WikiLeaks editor-in-chief, was put on time out. “Assange has been a very naughty naughty boy these past few months,” said Ecuadorian foreign minister, Guillaume Long, who reportedly put Assange on time out by shutting off his Wi-Fi last Wednesday. “Look, we love Assange like a son, but we’ve been getting complaints from United States about Assange acting up again, so we had to put him on time out for at least a few hours. We’re hoping this teaches him a little lesson about responsibility and internet etiquette.” When reached for comment, Assange was reportedly already publishing a lengthy blog-post about overbearing parental figures.

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About Jennifer Harbeck 6 Articles
Editor-in-Chief 2018-2019. I use a lot of hyphens and dashes.