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Month: October 2016

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Area Man Checks Into Standing Rock Hooters Location

October 31, 2016 Nathan Glovinsky 0

STANDING ROCK, ND—Following a proliferation of online activism regarding the Dakota Access Pipeline, sources report that area man Mike Gianni showed his solidarity with indigenous […]

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Man Uses Same Racist Costume For Halloween And Cinco De Mayo

October 31, 2016 Kushal Chatterjee 0

Madison, WI—Area man Joseph Peterson is dressing as a “Mexican cowboy” for Halloween, and plans to use the same costume for Cinco De Mayo next […]

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A Guide To Picking The Perfect Halloween Costume

October 30, 2016 Enabler Staff 0

Have you googled “easy halloween costume ideas” for the tenth time today? Are you considering staying home just to avoid coming up with a “cool” […]

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Student Gets Massive Thrill From Not Locking Stall Door While Defecating

October 30, 2016 Nathan Grovhoug 0

WESTWOOD—Having already drawn down his pants and committed to a bowel movement in a public bathroom, Statistics major Steven Chu received a massive thrill when […]

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Best Places To Poop On Campus

October 30, 2016 Enabler Staff 0

Ever wondered what the best places to poop on campus were? Here’s an exclusive compilation of our staff’s favorite places! In Gene Block’s private bathroom […]

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Facebook Releases New Timeline Based On Family Members’ Most Offensive Posts

October 28, 2016 Kali Croke 0

MENLO PARK, CA – With the general election weeks away, political commentary that nobody asked for from Facebook users’ normally inactive older relatives has increased, […]

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Other Amendments Wondering How They Can Be More Controversial

October 28, 2016 Kali Croke 0

WASHINGTON D.C. – A conservative movement to #abolishthe19th has taken Twitter by storm this past week, leaving the other twenty-something amendments of the Constitution feeling […]

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Submission: The Westwood Enabler Should Avoid Writing Biased Articles on Bruin Republicans

October 28, 2016 Bruin Republicans Board 0

As UCLA students, we look to the Westwood Enabler when we’re bored in class or sitting on the toilet. Unfortunately, it is now more evident […]

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Student Activist Being Treated At Ronald Reagan Following Exposure To Differing Opinion

October 26, 2016 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — EMTs rushed second-year sociology major and student activist Emma Schwartz to UCLA’s Ronald Reagan Medical Center following her collapse midway through a heated […]

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Study: Everyone At Gym Definitely Staring At You

October 26, 2016 Jack Lyons 0

LOS ANGELES — A newly released study by the UC Center For Sustainable Exercise (UCCSE) confirmed the long-held belief that everyone at the gym is […]

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