Point: Gazing Off My Balcony Reminds Me This Is My Time By: Claudia DeMonet There’s nothing that makes me feel more alive than watching the […]
WESTWOOD–Upon one member’s suggestion that they go volunteer at a nearby soup kitchen, a local friend group collectively decided to not and say they did. […]
WESTWOOD–After popping a fine slice of Nature’s Own Whole Wheat Bread in the toaster oven, area woman Karen Schremm concluded that her new favorite smell […]
LOS ANGELES–On its way to Chicago O’Hare, a sixteen-ounce bottle of Dasani purified water was abandoned by its owner outside LAX airport security. The water […]
WESTWOOD–After only selling three potato balls in one hour, an unnamed club offering Porto’s baked goods on Bruinwalk has begun to sympathize with the homophobe […]
LOS ANGELES — Following Moonlight‘s Oscars win for Best Picture, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was happily absolved of all racial prejudice […]
LOS ANGELES — According to Girl Scouts of America, cookie sales in the state of California have grown over 250 percent since Proposition 64 passed […]
WESTWOOD–After watching an airing of Home Alone on primetime cable, local hipster Samuel Stroller was reminded of his preference for Macaulay Culkin’s achievements as an […]
WESTWOOD–Celebrating his 8th birthday this past week, narcissistic jackass Chad Brownfield neglected to consider thousands of dying individuals across the world when he wished for […]
ATLANTA–Following outrage over Starbucks’ lack of Christmas imagery on its holiday cup design, Chick-fil-a announced plans to release a seasonal “Happy Birthday Jesus” cup, declaring […]
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