Mom On Tour Thinks Royce Hall Looks Nice
WESTWOOD—Sources report that a mom taking a tour of UCLA thinks Royce Hall is nice. “It’s really a very nice…
Op-Ed: I Support Labor Rights Except When They Inconvenience Me
It’s 2018. People shouldn’t have to work two full time jobs just to put food on the table for their…
BREAKING: USAC Candidate Dick Johnson Sanctioned For Phallic Name
WESTWOOD — The undergraduate student government election board issued a sanction Friday morning. Dick Johnson, a candidate running for Community Services…
Local Kanye Apologist Having A Really Bad Week
WESTWOOD–Sources report local Kanye apologist Sam Bradley is having a really bad week. “I mean, I always knew Kanye was…
Man Six Beers In Just Taking The Edge Off
WESTWOOD—Area man Joseph Park has consumed six beers in an attempt to take the edge off after a long day….
Report: Kelly Wants You To Sign Up For Dance Marathon
WESTWOOD—According to sources close to her, Kelly, your freshman year roommate’s ex-girlfriend who you talked to once, wants you to…
GOP: Democrats Are Worse Than Child Molesters
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Today, in a joint statement on Capitol Hill, several Republican lawmakers confirmed that any member of the Democratic Party…
Area Man Most Thankful For Black Friday Steam Sale
WESTWOOD—Despite his loving family, fulfilling career and good health, area man Tobias Yuichi is more thankful for Steam’s annual Black…
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— , WestWOOD, CA knowing grammar this important not is for I am with; if artificial I am – then…
Area White Woman Would Totally Date Nonwhite Guy, Just Never Had The Opportunity
LOS ANGELES—Area white woman Tracy Jefferson is completely open to dating a nonwhite man, but has never had the opportunity….