Op-Ed: No One Suffered Like My Ethnic Group
My ethnic group came to this country from a poorer one than yours. I don’t care where you came from; my ancestral country was poorer. […]
My ethnic group came to this country from a poorer one than yours. I don’t care where you came from; my ancestral country was poorer. […]
LOS ANGELES — Citing its sophisticated and nuanced references to Narodnaya literature, local nihilist Evan Sharp is a regular viewer of the Adult Swim cartoon […]
LAS VEGAS, NV — After the deadliest mass shooting in American history occurred during a concert in Las Vegas, the NRA has reported that all […]
What’s all this outcry about me leaking classified info to the Russians? Believe me, I know a lot of people and none of them are […]
BIG CITY, BIG STATE—Citing his desire to make something great out of himself, Stan Levinson, a nobody from an aw, shucks folksy ‘burb in the […]
BERKELEY, CA—Scientists at UC Berkeley have just confirmed that, despite what you may have thought and still think, your dad was right. You can argue […]
WESTWOOD—In an entirely unnoticed general meeting, USAC passed something. “This resolution is really going to help out the UCLA community,” said a general representative whose […]
ARLINGTON, VA – In the wake of her massive detonation and international fame, the mother of all bombs leaves behind the father of all bombs, […]
WESTWOOD—Local cat Fluffy Winship Lion the Fourth was in the process of his regularly scheduled licking session when his tongue stopped and the existential dread […]
CHICAGO, IL—Scientists at the University of Chicago have concluded a two-year long study that proves legalized dueling would be a highly effective method of reducing […]
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