Opinion: Dear Covel Pianists, La La Land Won’t Heal Your Heartache
I get it. It’s the score of dreamers. If a flash mob were to break out in Ackerman, we could all imitate the choreography of […]
Articles by Grace Swenson
TA Worried Strike Will Impact Weapons Manufacturing Job
WESTWOOD — As another TA strike seems imminent, some graduate students are more hesitant to support the cause. “It’s not like these foreign wars have […]
Biz Econ Major Excited To Commit White-Collar Crimes
WESTWOOD — Fourth-year business economics major Bordan Jelfort announced today that after years of experience in petty crime, he now intends to pursue a fruitful […]
Coughers In Your Lecture Actually Experimental A Cappella Group
WESTWOOD – In an exclusive Westwood Enabler interview, third-year physiological science major Ian Fluenza, spokesperson for the coughers in your lecture, announced that everyone coughing […]
Debt Collectors Find Powell Cat Alive in the Cayman Islands
CAYMAN ISLANDS — After his presumed death last March, debt collectors have found Powell Cat alive and well, sipping on Mai Tais in the Cayman […]
Academic Weapon Commits To Pacifism
WESTWOOD – In a press release sent out at 2 a.m. today, second-year neuroscience major Pri Medd announced she would officially be laying down her […]
BPlate Unveils New “Eldritch Concoction” Dish
BPLATE CATACOMBS — UCLA Dining unveiled its latest culinary offering, the Eldritch Concoction, Sunday evening in an underground ceremony featuring fanatical chants, quinoa, and ritual […]
8-Person Gayley Heights Apartments Revealed To Be Elaborate Social Experiment
WESTWOOD — Yesterday evening, Dr. Philip Styles of the UCLA Psychology Department revealed to a small cohort of graduate students that creating 8-person apartments in […]
Staff Suggestions For Thanksgiving Quarantine Activities
This truly has been an unprecedented year! It is difficult to spend the holidays apart from family, and we at the Westwood Enabler know how […]